Friend - a relative term

The statement popped into my head while I was pressing my clothes.. Pressing is such a boring job that all kinds of inane stuff moves through my head while I am trying to get done with it..

But come to think of it, in my case, this statement does turn out to be true, very true.
Friend IS a relative term.
I am not trying to be philosophical or something, in fact, I hate philosophy. But this is so true, if you just think about it.

I don't know why I started to write this post, but I thought I have to, I just have to, even if I don't write anything worth reading. :P

So, back to the point.. I say friend is a relative term. You ask why... because I think everyone has their own definition of Friend, of what friends are supposed to be.
Friendship might mean different thing to different people.
Some people may give this relationship more importance than it calls for. And some might not understand why it's worth anything.

The importance may be learnt after a broken friendship, or the importance might be lost after realizing how much friends can hurt. The importance may break on you when you have a blast with your friends, or when you miss them.

But the thing is it might not be what you think it is. And others are sure to have a different opinion then you.

For example, when we were kids we all had a different perspective. A friend was a person who had the most expensive toys, and was also willing to share them with you. At that time friends changed and it wasn't that hurting.

I remember every other person used to be my friend. My favorite dialogue was "Dost nahi ho yaar."
Till college I used to threaten my friends with
"Mein tumhein apnay dost kee post se kharij kar doon geen" :P

And as I grew up the definition changed in a drastic manner. Now I think a million times before giving the title of friend to anyone.

And that works, because eventually, when they do what I expect them to do, it doesn't hurt that much, and it doesn't matter that much, and in the end you think that all that happened was for a good reason.

Another example, for some people breaking up a friendship is not that difficult, because for them friends aren't that important and thus they don't care. For them the definition is quite different.

Hence proved,
'Friend' is a relative term.

Money Matters..

When it was our parent's money that we were throwing away happily, we never thought once about how we are spending it. I remember, in our last year of bachelors, we kept planning about going to that place for lunch or that place. I always voted for KFC, but somehow that plan always got canceled. One day one of very nice friends told me "Yaar, I went to KFC last night with family and thought of buying Zinger for you, but then I decided not to, as it would turn bad till the morning."
Now I am a person who doesn't like it when someone spends this much money for me without an occassion. So I said "Nahi yaar... It's good that you didn't buy anything for me. Why waste money?" And I got a very sweet reply "Friends mein chalta hai yaar."

Now we all have mashaAllah started our careers and now we always think a little before we go and spend even a small amount from our salaries. Now again, all of us were trying to make plans to go for lunch from our jobs, and the plans always got canceled. And then I finally decided I wouldn't go with my uni friends for lunch as if I plan for that I'll eventually starve to death.
Now consider the following conversation with the same friend of mine:

Friend: "Lunch tomorrow?"
Me: "No, not at all. You people will starve me to death as I am sure you will cancel this plan at the last moment as well."
Friend: "Hehe... Acha when we are going for lunch we'll kidnap you from your office."
Me: "Acha then you'll pay for my lunch as well."

Now read the reply she gave to me, the same friend who once said "Friends mein chalta hai" now said:

"Haan mein to darakhton (trees) se utar rahi hoon na"

:D :D

When you miss your friends…..

You miss your friends at the most oddest of times.

You miss them not only when you are depressed, don’t know your way through an assignment, or you are too low for you don’t know how to deal with the things life is throwing at you. It’s not only in these moments that you miss your friends but at other occasions too, when you never imagined you would miss them, at least I never thought I would.

Some of these moments are:

• At lunch time, when you sit and eat your lunch all alone. Even when the lunch comprises of your favorite…. things just don’t seem that good when you don’t get to share it with your friends, when you don’t get to talk to them and laugh at the most silliest of jokes, and take longer to eat a sandwich that would normally take only 10 minutes, saying “yaar khana hamesha aram se khana chaye”

• When you are sifting through a magazine and you find something pretty interesting, you look around to find someone you can share it with and find no one who would be able to understand why you find it amazing.

• When it’s raining heavily outside and you don’t have anyone to walk with and enjoy the blessing.

• When you have to walk to the bus stand alone, with no one there who would listen to you complaining about buses, and your constant rambling on a topic no one has an answer to namely “Why does Karachi have such a situation of public transport?”, when you have no one who would reply to your comments with their own mustard with equal detest.

• When you watch an amazingly nice movie or a surprisingly stupid one, and you don’t have anyone around who would discuss it with you.

• When you log on to “cricinfo.com” to read up on the current match between Pakistan and India and you have no one else around who shares the same excitement and no one who doesn’t share the excitement at all and continues saying “come on yaar, we have work to do!”. (Yeah you even miss them scolding you.)

• When you buy a brand new mobile and don’t have anyone you could show off to.

• When you finally achieve something and you don’t have anyone to shake hands, deliver a hearty congratulations and then hug and hug tightly.

• When you don’t have anyone to play “Name Place Animal Thing” with to kill your time or maybe to waste it.

• When you don’t have anyone you could waste your time with right before a Final exam when you should actually be studying but realize that there are better and much more important things in life than studying like the reasons you didn’t study last night.

• When a quiz is announced in a class, you look back and don’t find a friendly face or to be more correct the face of a friend whose expressions would prove that you’ll not be the only one failing this quiz.

It’s 5:40 in the morning, and my head was roaring with the above, and so I decided I should post them on my blog. My net’s not working so I am writing these on Microsoft Office Word. Will post it as soon as possible.

(The above was written yesterday, 30th July, 2008)

Your Best friend?????

Normally, I had this one name prepared for the answer to this question. One name. Which has always been the answer. Well, for a long time, at least.
But you can't always remain under a misconception. Its bound to clear up some day.
And now if someone would ask me the question "Your Best friend???"
I still have an answer prepared. But instead of a name, I have this entire theory or you can call it philosophy to answer the question. And it would go something like...
"No one is really your best friend.. except yourself maybe, but no one else. Coz everyone will naturally keep themselves first, and would not care about you if some of their decisions might hurt yours or might hurt YOU. coz in the end what matters is how happy they themselves are and not how happy someone else is. So, the conclusion is, no one is really your best friend."

A very harsh truth, yes. but it's true for me, might not be in your case.
But I too thought that I was lucky enough to have a friend. But it took only one weekend to change my thoughts, just one weekend. It was the 18th of April 2008, Friday.. and everything changed in my assumed world of friendships....

When the time comes...

When the time comes, people would only think about themselves... no matter if that person is supposed to be your best friend, someone you are very close to, all of this doesn't matter... because when the time comes, people would only think about themselves..

What do you do????

What do you do if you become an after thought to the people you care about?
What do you do if they stop caring about you?
What do you do if you don't have them to share your feelings with you?
What do you do if they become irritated with what you say?
What do you do if they don't claim to be your friends anymore?
What do you do if it had always been a mistake?
What do you do if it was never more than a mere acquaintance?


What do you do if you were never more than an after thought, a part of lost memory?

Why do friendships diminish?

No I am not here to answer this question.
I don't think I can, and I don't think I ever will be able enough to bring myself to answer this simple yet enigmatic question. No I am not going to attempt that.
I am just here to pore my thoughts.
So, why do friendships weaken?
Why sometimes a friendship that could have gone a long mile and may have grown more stronger suddenly losses it's importance?
Why do we do this to ourselves?
When somewhere we do feel that we are loosing a friendship, why don't we fight for it? why don't we work for it? why don't we try to solve the problems? Why do we just let it be?
Sometimes it happens that we are hurt so much that it affects not just one friendship but it just changes our attitude towards people. We start judging everyone. Looking at everyone through the same mirror of skepticism. Why do we do that? But maybe we are right in doing this too.
Why don't we discuss the fears we have? Why don't we just come out and say how low we are feeling? Why is it so necessary for us to pretend all the time? Isn't it okay to surrender sometimes, is it okay to give others a chance?
Or I will say this again, maybe we are right in keeping our fears to ourselves, not letting anyone see our pain.
We loose our friendships doing this?
But are friendships so weak that it can withstand the winds of time?
Shouldn't it be strong enough to go through all of this with a smile?

I should end this here.
It's not going anywhere anyways....