Presentations....

I don't know why but I have lost the little confidence that I had. In the past too, I was afraid of giving presentations, but I somehow got myself up on the stage, and uttered something. I always tried to come up with new ideas to get people intrigued by the presentation title, interested in the slide background and hooked up with words. That never seemed to happen completely, but I thought I was able to accomplish something.
Lately though, it seems I have lost the touch.

And because of the sudden loss of the ittsy bittsy confidence, I try to run away from presentations, run as far as I can.

As bachelors ended, I thought it was the end of it all. No more presentations. Bachelors ended with presentations. We had to present our Final Year Projects to our judges and secure marks. Even then I wasn't that afraid of giving presentations.

You would think, after four year of rigorous and tiring attempts at giving good presentations, I would have obtained enough confidence to speak in front of as many people as could fit in a room.

But you have got it all wrong.

I have become even more afraid I guess.

In bachelors, I always tried to use a new slide template for every presentation. I never used the ones provided by Microsoft Office Powerpoint. I created my own. And I was proud of that. But now I restrict myself to the ones I can easily get. I don't have enough time to create my own, I say. While the truth is, I am out of ideas.

I thought with bachelors ended the ordeals that I had to go through before a presentation or a debate. Ohhhh I was so wrong.

Now I am supposed to give presentations to the clients as well.
My colleagues find my nervousness amusing. (But they do support as well, and help out with a lot of things.)

And I am expected to give a presentation to my team as well. When I know all the people listening to my presentation know better than I do about the topic I am supposed to speak on. When I know that I won't know a thing about most of the questions they put forward.

And then ofcourse, there are the Masters classes. How could I think that the presentations would end with Bachelors when I was planning to start my Masters right after.

And it came as a shock, when I was told in my first class of "Advanced Operating Systems" that we were supposed to give presentations on a releveant topic. And so I did... and so everyone slept thorough the presentation,, even the teacher.. can you believe that???.. I thought no matter how boring a presentation is ,, teachers would continue listening to what their students have got to say. But her expressions said that she was finding it as boring as everyone else (and as boring as me). But well, I have given the presentation... And she (my teacher) asked a few questions, so I guess she wasn't sleeping after all.

Though, it's not something to be proud of, but I still tell anyone who agrees to listen that "I gave a presentation, and everyone in the room slept."
Guess I do have a talent... I have a mesmerizing effect on people when I speak. That's one way to put it. The other blunt way is "I am as good a sleeping pill as any text book of the world." :P

Anyways, the point is, I have lost the little confidence that I did have on myself, and the point is, there is no end to the presentation stuff. They will always be a part of life... hmmm......