The Age of Innocence

Being the youngest in my family, I longed for a younger sibling whom I could play with, and if not for anything else then a younger sibling just to have the pleasure of bossing around. I envied my friends who had such luxury, and I never failed to mention this to them that they were very fortunate and they never failed to shout it out for me that I was the lucky one.

I loved children (I still do) and I chose to show my affection by pulling their cheeks and they chose to show their detest by slapping me hard across my face or let me have a view of their long tongues and then run like some super hero to their mommys and daddys.

My prayers for a child in house were answered when Allah blessed me with a niece and three years back not only my view-point about children but also my life changed dramatically.

And now I have come to realize that when you get to know kids up close and personal, they are not so innocent after all.

For one thing they taught me to be a little disciplined. In the past, I had this habit of keeping the entire house covered with evidences indicating that 'I' at one point in time had blessed this particular spot by my presence i.e. to say I had decorated my entire house with my things. I used to study on a table in the hall and even if I wasn't around I kept the books open to the last page I was reading (or looking, to be more correct). Not any more, people. Now I have learnt to hide my things from the reach of kids. Because if anything is out there, it sure isn't save. One of my assignments, which I had completed after a week's hard work, was signed by none other than my eldest niece, and that too on every page. All she had to do was to sneak up to my not-so-aware assignment, pull out a marker from my innocently-lying pencil box and put large trademarks of her own existence on each and every page. I am sure she must've gone through it again to make sure that she hasn't left any of the pages 'un-autographed'.

I miss my bus everyday (Author's Note: This is nothing but exaggeration, I always am late, true, but missed it onlyk I guess, twice in four years.) because I have to collect my things spread around the house and hid at the most unusual of places for half-an-hour. (Don't advice me to wake up half hour earlier, that again is not a possibility.)

I have at this very moment four kids in my house. Every few minutes I hear a knock on my door, which is more like a bang; or a cry from one of the kids, which leads to the crying and shouting of all the remaining kids, which leads to their moms shouting over them, which leads to my mom shouting on all six of them, which leads to my sneaking my head from the safety of my room to ask them to keep it down a bit.

Once I had a final paper the next morning and the above scene was being rehearsed right outside my room. Even with the door closed I could hear all of them loud and clear. The third world war initiated when my niece had this instant desire to ride the same bicycle my nephew was riding. We had one bicycle for each kid just to evade the chances of them fighting each other but well it isn't really easy to make human beings content with what they have, is it? Asking them to take their negotiations to another room or even out side turned out to be fruitless, asking them all to shut up was another futile attempt, and putting cotton in my ears was yet another failure. I put my BSB cd in the stereo and played it on full volume, but the Backstreet boys couldn't rescue me from this castle of sonance. For once in my life I longed to go to my university so that I could study in peace in the library.

This is how I gave my finals, so people it's not my fault if I get bad grades, and teachers if you are reading this, please try to empathize, being lillient in checking my answer scripts would be a good way to start.

After my final exams, my vacations should have been all fun, but guess what, that didn't happen. Well, it was fun to play with the kids, but it isn't exactly fun if you can't chat with your school friends just because your nephew requests, in fact, nags you to show him his birthday pictures, which quite amazingly happen to be saved on the computer.

My one-year old niece is just learning to talk and so naturally tries to copy every word she hears. So while she's around you can't say any word which is considered to be illegal for kids.

My nephew considers talking to any person I am talking to over the phone as part of good manners. He has nothing to say, absolutely nothing, so he keeps on repeating the same thing over and over again.

With my new semester already begun, I don't know how I'll be able to study, complete the assignments (I already have two of them) and how in God's name would I be able to complete four projects. It was impossible, even without the kids, but it has become more impossible (is there an actual word for more impossible?) with kids around. I naturally can't call my friends to my place for studying, it would be rude to go to their homes every time, and university….well there are many activities going on there besides studies (for one you can have free internet hours, and café is not so far).

The people who've searched on net many times would know how difficult it can be sometimes to get what you want. And once after surfing the net for half-an-hour I came up with some relevant material, when my niece pressed with her elbow some unknown combination of keys and got me back to a previous page (the key wasn't backspace, I assure you that). In all this fuss about my work being ruined, I forgot that there is a forward-button too at the top if you look closely.

Whenever I sit to study my nephew would come and ask me to give him a star on his hand. Or my niece would come and inquire innocently "Yeh ka hai? Abcd hai?" ("What is this? Abcd?"). The sweetness of her voice would tempt anyone to leave their homework and start talking to her; after all she is not going to stay one-year old.

Studying is not an option, this you must've understood till now, but so is watching television. It seems like we only have cartoon-network tuned on our tv. I have to watch Superman (the cartoon) while a much decent version named 'Smallville' is coming on another channel.

But you know what, it's still fun having kids in your house. Playing with these angelic beings and answering their innocent questions makes up for the number of times they bug you. Their sweet smile would make you forget all worries and tensions. It's good to be greeted like royalty every time you enter the house. My nephew wouldn't let me step in until he asks all his routine questions and then comments "Nice bag, Khala", "Nice watch, Khala" and then promising me that he would buy me a new one provided that it's not too expensive. God knows how his two year old mind came up with that theory when for him 10 rupees is more than enough to buy milk, chocolate, chips and biscuits.

I wouldn't trade my time spent with them for the world.